Corvans Creations... Musings on a Second Life » Jaydana

New friends, new fun

corvan — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:02:00 +0000

Now I remember why pony fits so well for me…

Not that I was forgetting at all, but yesterday sure helped bring it to the foreground again. I had a great day. Made a really good friend who’s almost certain to be joining the farm soon; took Miss Button and Miss Izumi (another of the FFF Stable Mistresses) on a long cart ride with Jaydana; met a possible new owner….

I’m actually skeptical anything will come of it, but a visitor IMed me asking if I was interested in joining her herd (her term, not mine). We had a good conversation, and I let her know I was interested in meeting her fillies and getting to know her to see if there was a possible fit. We’ll see if anything comes of it. It does weigh on me from time to time, missing that feeling of being owned.

It was the cart ride and aftermath with Button, Izumi and Jaydana that was the best part of the day though. I’d just got back on after a, um, minor incident involving my 14 year old daughter, a concert and some subterfuge on her part . There was a big crowd by the entrance gazebo when I got on and Button decided she wanted to see how I was doing with cart pulling so she hitched up Jaydana and I and off we went! It was a lovely drive, and afterwords she sent us through the pool to cool off. With the help of a subtle hint (well, subtle like a brick…) from Button and the decidedly not subtle help of Jaydana (who immediately jumped right back in the pool) all three ponies jumped back in the pool doing out best to soak everyone nearby. It gave me my first real opportunity to start showing my mischievous side. What fun!

Just please don’t tell Button that it turned out Jaydana was doing all the steering when we were pulling her and Izumi around, though I was matching her moves pretty closely.

And so we wait, patiently

corvan — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:28:00 +0000

I’ve been meeting some interesting people as I stand in the paddock, including a pony who’s owner may be enrolling her at FFF. I still haven’t met many trainers, and those I do know are still largely busy with others but I’m practicing my patience. After all, I’ve hardly been here a week (is it even a week yet?) so I can’t exactly gripe.

I did get my questions on protocol answered (thanks Jaydana!) so I know where my expectations were out of touch.

All in all, things are fine. I’m getting plenty of opportunities to practice being a pony with visitors to the farm and that’s fun. On thing I’m finding interesting is that I feel less compelled to try to talk to people via “ponypathy” than I did initially. Haven’t yet decided if that’s a good thing or not, but my gut tells me it probably is.

A question of protocol

corvan — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:38:00 +0000

Well, a few questions of protocol actually. Really one or two questions of protocol and a couple of questions of expectations.

First to protocol, and here I’m referring to pony-trainer protocol, especially that between a pony and a trainer who is actively working with another pony. In a nutshell, is it appropriate to just barge right into their scene? I’m using somewhat inflammatory wording deliberately. Not because I feel like others have been doing so, but rather to highlight the reason for my own reluctance to approach a trainer and pony who are busy working together. When I see a pair working I tend to shy back, at best entering the periphery of chat range so I can learn about how they are interacting, but otherwise trying not to disturb them. Is that the right approach? I’ve seen others come right up to my trainer as we’ve been working and it seems like it’s not considered rude so perhaps I’m being to reticent.

My other protocol question is regarding posture. When gathered around with others, what is the appropriate stance for ponies to take with respect to the trainers? I know that ponies by their nature are submissive towards the trainers, it’s part of the basis of the relationship. I’ve seen some ponies who kneel when with trainers, I’ve seen others who don’t. What’s “proper”? When I was with Miss Wednesdai, I was always required to kneel by her side when we were just standing or sitting. Should I be doing that when I’m just standing around with others here? On the one hand, as a pony it seems somehow unnatural, horses never sit after all; on the other hand, as a sub it seems like a natural and proper thing to do. The gripping hand is that I haven’t seen anything consistent among the folks I’ve observed.

I’m starting to slowly get over my shyness on the farm. When someone new comes into range I’ll whinny a greeting to them and if they respond I’ll do my best to interact with them. I’m still fighting my shyness but I’m definitely making progress. There have been cases when I’ve been ignored, which is fine, especially when it’s a visitor, but there’s been a few times where I’ve been ignored where I was caught off guard. Two cases come to mind and I’m wondering if my own expectations are out of line.

The first time, I was in the paddock and Marianne was lunging a pair of ponies. I stood just at the fence line, barely inside chat range and watched. It was really interesting to observe how she handled the ponies. I wasn’t shy about making my presence known, whinnied a few times while there, but wasn’t expecting much in the way of acknowledgment because Marianne was obviously busy with the two. As they left, she grabbed their reins, accidentally grabbing mine as well (it’s an SL thing that this could happen). I whinnied and tried to hop the fence because the reins were pulling me through the fence, and Marianne stopped briefly to release my reins. Nothing that I could hear was said, and the trio continued on to the barn.

The second time was last night. I was again waiting in the paddock when Jo dropped in on top of me with another pair of ponies and Josephine one of the farm’s puppies. Once again, I whinnied greetings to them as the landed on my head, but otherwise kept a respectful distance within the paddock. They didn’t stay long, but none of them even acknowledged by presence. Jo left with her horse and bade Josephine a good night as they left without her, but not a word was spoken towards me.

My question here is, is this to be expected? Are ponies routinely ignored? I’m not complaining, just trying to understand the rules. What can seem rude when looked at one way can be entirely appropriate and correct when viewed in the right context, and I’m trying to figure out that context.

To finish off on a very positive note, Jaydana came by and took me through a session on the walker, teaching me the right way to walk as a pony. In RL, learning the proper gait is a major component of becoming a pony. In SL all you need is the right AO and *Poof* you’re walking like a pony. In this case, Jaydana wanted me to be able to correctly emote how I was walking. It was a really good lesson, which unfortunately ended when my internet connection crashed badly (I’m going to be yelling loudly at my ISP in the morning). She also made some comments on how she would be training me were she my owner… It’s a damned shame there’s an ocean between us. If there is one rule I learned being owned by Wednesdai it’s that more than 2 or maybe 3 hours time difference just doesn’t seem workable.

More learning and an interesting observation

corvan — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:50:00 +0000

I spent some time being trained by Jaydana this afternoon. She started off teaching me how to be properly lead, something I hadn’t encountered before. It makes complete sense, the pony stands close to but behing the trainer whenever on lead.

She then took me to the lunge circle, or as she put it the whip circle (may be a British vs. American thing) and gave me a lesson on cart commands. I did pretty well, only forgot which was my left and which was my right once, but I remembered in time to correct it. After that it was to the slalom course where I did okay the first couple of tries, better after she showed me a steering trick.

An interesting thing happened while we were up there, and continued as we headed down to the steeple for a few minutes before I had to leave. We stopped being pony and trainer. As I was leaving I realised that we’d been peers for the last several minutes and on the one hand that bothered me a bit, because I wasn’t supposed to be acting like her peer in that situation, she was training me! It wasn’t until a fair bit later that I realised when it happened and why neither of us really noticed, well I can’t speak for her but I know it’s why I didn’t notice: Jaydana changed into tack to demonstrate something with the slalom and didn’t change back. She was a bitted pony now, the same as me. We were peers now so why shouldn’t we have interacted as peers.

We had a great conversation in IM, I really do enjoy talking with her, but all semblance of pony-trainer interaction was long gone by then. I’m wondering, in that sort of situation, if it would have been better for me to deliberately continue as the pony in training, endowing her with being the trainer even though we’d both lost that. I’m really not sure, but I am glad that it makes sense why it ended the way it did after all, we were just a couple of ponies parting ways…

Life begins on the farm

corvan — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:33:00 +0000

So now I’m a stabled pony. That has a really nice ring to it doesn’t it?

In my interview with Button she pointed out that I didn’t have a proper harness. That was the one thing I’d missed in getting ready to meet her. Off to the tack shop I go (oh, no, I’ve got to go shopping? ). Jaydana had also mentioned at one point getting a pony bed, and suggested looking in the tack shop.

I need to not spend too much time there, that’s a dangerous place for a gadget geek like me . One of the equipment designers has an official FFF uniform and hoof set which I just couldn’t resist. On the one hand, the uniform gives me a semi harness (it’s built into the clothing layers, not an attached prim harness) which will do until I can figure out a way to get the prim harness I bought to fit. I spent nearly an hour fiddling with it but it the pieces just don’t seem to want to align properly and I’m nervous about attempting to unlink it and make them fit. It’s copy perm so I’m not going to ruin it trying but still, I can see myself spending a large amount of time getting it just so (which I definitely will at some point) and frankly fiddling with equipment is not what I want to be doing right now. The hooves are downright gorgeous though. All shiny and silver with the FFF logo embossed all over them. I have a feeling I won’t be taking them off any time soon…

While I was fiddling with my equipment and really just standing happily in my new stall, Jaydana came by to see how I was doing. She invited me to join her as she was going to be spending some time in tack so I happily followed. I’m really eager to learn how things are done by observing, and everyone I’ve met has been really accommodating. Kittanya joined us as Jaydana was changing. It was really nice to see another familiar face, I still feel warm inside thinking about how Kittanya was with me the other night when I was just a stranger on the farm. It really helped me to be that nervous and scared and calmed as you would a skittish horse. The way she handled me, and the natural response this brought out in me, more than anything I think is what convinced me to really have a go at being a full-time pony.

Jaydana and Kittanya chatted as Jaydana changed, the noteworthy thing being that Jaydana was merrily chatting away until the moment the bit touched her lips. From that moment on she was a pony in tack. I think the only time I’ve had my bit out has been when I went visiting The Forum briefly. So far, except for some quick changes, I’ve had the bit in non-stop while at the farm.

Kittanya and Jaydana had decided to do some quick dressage. I watched from the sidelines as they went through a quick routine. Jaydana had to run, but right about then another pony, LittleViolet Sirnah turned up and Kittanya began teaching me dressage with Little demonstrating. Dressage combines precision actions with significant non-verbal communications between pony and trainer. Everything that happens, happens because of where the trainer is standing on the dressage field. Kittanya described it as a dance between pony and trainer and I see what she means by that. It could be quite beautiful…

After demonstrating all the events, and how they are signaled, Kittanya took me through a brief run. The only piece that gave me real trouble was the slalom, I just couldn’t get through it smoothly. It’s a lot like slalom in skiing, you need to find the line, start turning before you pass the pole and just brush the pole as you go by. A little later I was able to get most of the way through smoothly, going to need to practice this one a lot.

BUT, the key thing is again, how comfortable and natural all of this is feeling. Button, Jaydana and Kittanya have all commented on how I seem to be a natural at this, and I can’t agree more. It’s all dropping into place like I was made for it. I can’t wait to see what I’m able to accomplish.

Just to close out the day, I fell asleep curled up on my new bed in my new stall in my new home. SL doesn’t get much better than this…

An Interview with Button Wright

corvan — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:14:00 +0000

I was so nervous about this interview. Jaydana had assured me that I had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t stop me…

She was right of course, Button turns out to be a lovely lady with a very sweet disposition. I was quite surprised to see that she dresses as an Indian with a very lovely sari (or as they seemed to consistently spell it in Bangalore, saree). It turns out that she is not Indian, but has a strong affinity to India, still it was nice to see that small connection from the start. There were some obvious formalities, was I owned and if so did I have my owner’s permission; was I over 21 in RL, things of that nature. But more important were the non-formal part of the interview and what followed.

Button took my reins and lead me back to the barn for a physical. It just occurred to me, that Button is the first person, ever, to take my reins. I’ve been leashed many times of course, but never before have I been lead on reins. That’s actually pretty cool. At some point I should mention it to her, I’m sure she’ll be pleased.

The physical was very thorough and I realised part way through had a very serious purpose. It served to show how well I could role play, follow implied direction and emote. My nerves were still jangling so it took a while to relax enough to get my stride, but I think I did pretty well. Part way through we were joined by Jaydana and the two of them talked about me and about other things as Button continued her examination. They discussed me, my physique, just as you would imagine they would were I a horse being examined. Being treated like that was really powerful. I again experienced that feeling of being pulled inside SL, RL slipped away again.

Once the examination was over, Button took me on a tour of the grounds. Well, I should say drove me on a tour of the grounds. A cart was brought in and with Button and Jaydana aboard off we went, me pulling the cart. I’m afraid the first part of the trip was rather bumpy. Controlling a cart isn’t quite as easy as it looks… Button introduced me to the whip commands and I only missed a couple as we proceeded. Button and Jaydana sat in the back chatting away as I pulled the cart. One thing I learned is how important it is to keep my focus shared between the cart and the chat text, as they were talking Button was giving me directions and I needed to carefully watch to avoid missing them. The conversation itself I mostly tuned out, on the one hand, I needed to focus on pulling the cart and on the other hand I was pulling a cart, not having a quiet chat! I think there may have been a couple of compliments in there on how I was doing. I’ll need to take a look at the chat log to be sure.

The tour finished we returned to the barn and I briefly met a couple of other FFF residents. After Jaydana and Button left I went upstairs to claim a stall, my new home. This lead to one, slightly disquieting occurrence. A pony named erin came by while I was being unhitched, didn’t say much and rather suddenly trotted out of the barn. As I was standing by the stall I’d picked she walked up, staying about 15 meters away, stomped twice and ran off. Stomping twice is how ponies say “No”.

I’d read, and Button had mentioned, that some of the ponies had issues with males, weren’t comfortable around them, in some cases may have been abused. It’s a sad commentary on the world isn’t it? I don’t know what erin’s concern is, but I hope there’s some way I can help her see that not all males fit whatever image she has of them…

To be continued again…

My how things can change from one day to the next

corvan — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 13:36:00 +0000

And no, this is not an April Fool’s Day Joke…

First and foremost, my wife is out of the ICU. CT and MRI were both clean, and the pneumonia appears to have completely cleared up. They aren’t quite sure why she had the seizure, but they also aren’t quite sure why she hasn’t been having them since the stroke.

The second part is a little less important, but will take a lot longer to tell. The quick summary: I have a new home. Let me tell the tale as it happened.

I was being very good, didn’t log in from work at all until around lunch time. Once inworld, I headed back over to the steeple course and continued practicing. Practicing getting frustrated that is. There was one turn and a couple of gates that kept giving me fits. At one point I popped back to the training steeple just to prove to myself that I wasn’t completely losing the ability to jump.

Later, Jaydana signed on and asked me how things were going. She joined me at the steeple and proceeded to give me my first really serious pony training ever. I learned a whole bunch of things from her, including the fact that my 1200 score on the training course doesn’t really count. It turns out it is considered cheating to run the course as opposed to walking it. Sigh, most of my practice the previous night had been perfecting running the course to cut my time down as much as possible. I did make some really good progress on the harder course though, and I’m determined to start back at the training course and get the best score I possibly can walking the course.

After a while, Jaydana had another pony to train on dressage. She invited me to join them and suddenly we had an impromptu cart pulling training. She drove me over the dressage course where I met two of the stallions, Michaels and Luca. Luca didn’t stay long as he was saddled up and ridden off. Meanwhile, Jaydana proceeded to take Michaels through the dressage course, all the while keeping up a constant running commentary describing how dressage is done. I’ve watched a bit of dressage before, but never really appreciated it before. Part way through her training Button Wright turned up. At that point my nerves went ‘Boing!!!’ and I really didn’t hear a word that Jaydana said to Michaels from that point on.

To be continued…

Diving into pony life full time…

corvan — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:46:00 +0000

I’ve made my choice, I’m committed, I hope I’m ready and I think I’ve got a decent base from which to learn.

Thanks to the training I’ve recently been receiving from one of my SL sisters, and thanks to some very kind pointers from Jaydana, I’ve been doing some serious soul searching the last few days. I’ve come to realise that the happiest I’ve been in SL recently was as a pony. I’m not entirely sure where it’s coming from, I’m still digging into that, but there is something deeply comforting about it. When I’m all geared up somehow a lot of cares and worries just melt away and I’m free to just be.

I really want to explore this further, see where it leads. There’s a feeling it may lead to a new definition of my lifestyle within SL, maybe I’ve found my niche, maybe being the best pony I can is where I’ll reach my stride. On Jaydana’s suggestion, I’ve sent a note to the Stable Mistress of Frilly Filly Farm to apply for admission. According to their website, I’m a bit of an unusual case being an un-owned pony applying. As is usual for me, now that I’ve made the decision I want it to start RIGHT NOW! Patience, Corvan, patience.

I’m recalling a conversation I had with Walter quite a while ago where he advised me that when I go with what my gut tells me I make good choices. My gut is strongly telling me to go with this. The couple of friends I’ve discussed this with so far have been overwhelmingly positive about the choice too. Wednesdai in particular told me that she thinks it is a great move on my part and offered to provide any sort of reference I might need.

I’m quite nervous with anticipation. Will I be accepted? Should I just start hanging around the farm regardless? I feel sort of like one of the thoroughbreds I would see when I worked at the track in Calgary. Chomping at the bit, eager to get moving, waiting impatiently for the signal to move and at the same time skittish about all the strange sights around…