Miss Tara wants me to blog at least twice a week, and except for a very few occasions, I’m really glad to, and appreciate her keeping me on task as this blog chronicles my journey through submission, SecondLife, etc.

Tonight though, I am not so much blogging about what has been happening with me as I am blogging about an incredibly important person in my life, and what’s coming for her.

At the time I am typing this it is exactly 19 hours, 5 minutes and 35 seconds until Miss Tara Reardon is permanently collared by her Master. This is happening during a time of incredible turmoil in her life, she’s about to move away from the state where she’s lived her entire life, she’s leaving her mother behind and not sure where her mother is going to be living, she’s coming up to speed on a new job, a job which is causing her to need to move. Yet in spite of all of this, she is in many ways happier than she’s ever been. She truly is her Master’s slave, and she’s finding joy and contentment in that in ways she never believed possible before.

We were talking the other day and realised it’s been nearly a year that we’ve known each other. About 11 months to be precise. When I first met her she was struggling with leaving her Master in Gor, a Master who was largely absent. Myself and a few others coached and supported and at times cajoled until she got herself to the point where she was ready and able to stand up and say “I’m leaving”. That was the first of many times I was proud of her and to know her. She had been immersed in the Gorean lifestyle for over three years, and a Gorean slave simply does not take off her collar and say “Enough”. She was much stronger than she believed she was and she stood up proud.

There followed a couple of relationships that honestly didn’t work out well. The reasons aren’t important, but what is important is that though she was very hurt following the breakups, she picked herself up, dusted herself off and battled on. I should mention that during the first of these relationships she was undergoing a fairly rigorous medical treatment that lasted a month, several hours of treatment each day that was pretty rough on her. She underwent surgery during the second one. In both cases, the results have been excellent. I mainly bring them up here to highlight that there were difficulties on both side of the screen, but she never gave in to despair, always had a kind word, always cared about how others were doing.

It was during the first relationship that she began watching over me when deka was not around. All the time I had known her she always identified purely as a submissive. Never as a Dominant. I don’t think I’ve ever told her this, but part of deka’s reasoning in asking her to watch over me was because she was so clearly not a Dominant and therefore there was no risk of split loyalty or of attempting to steal me away. Over time though, particularly as deka was absent more and more, her Dominant side began to emerge. She would often say that the only person she could ever be Dominant towards was me because I was the most submissive person she knew. I’m not sure I quite agree with the second part, I don’t think I’m the most submissive person in the world, but I do know that I have and did totally and easily submit to her.

In spite of that though, I remained fiercely loyal to deka until the end. Though I know now just how much it hurt her to watch me, effectively abandoned, yet still watching eagerly for deka to reappear; Miss Tara never wavered except slightly once. We were starting to really drop into a Dominant/submissive relationship and we were both coming to appreciate it. When deka returned briefly, Miss Tara was brought up short remembering that no matter how naturally things had been going in that direction, I wasn’t hers, I was deka’s. That was a painful moment for her. It wasn’t until much later that I realised just how painful it was. To protect herself, and to honour her commitment to deka and deka’s ownership of me, she withdrew slightly. I say slightly because she made it very clear that no matter what, she was always there for me as a friend and protector when deka wasn’t around.

It was much later that I realised (as I’ve written here) that there was one person who had been there for me whenever I needed it, in whatever way I needed for months. That person was not deka, it was Miss Tara. Through my trials and tribulations both in SecondLife and outside SL, she’s been there for me. Through all the trials and tribulations she’s been through, again both in SecondLife and outside, I’ve been there for her. We’ve become best friends. She knows me better than just about anyone in the world, and vice versa. We’ve laughed and cried together many a time, shared joy in triumphs and comfort in sad times. She may have collared me on Christmas day, but really, I had already been hers for a considerable period of time.

When she met her Master, I don’t think she had any idea what was in store for her. He runs a poly household, he already has more than one submissive and Miss Tara wasn’t sure how that would work for her, especially given that she didn’t believe she could function in a poly household. At the same time, she was discovering in herself a slave nature that she’d never known existed before, at least not to the degree that she has since discovered. Her Master had never owned a slave to the degree that she was evolving to. Fortunately for them both, they decided to give it a go, see what developed and how things worked out. There have been some ups and downs, some recognition of changes needed, etc. Very much like any couple learning about each other and at the same time learning about themselves. That there has also been the recognition that this was well and truly right is evidenced by the impending change from a consideration collar to a permanent collar.

Watching her blossom under his care has been a delight. Whenever we talk after she’s been with him, I can hear it in her voice. The devotion, the submission, the love. On several occasions she has said to me “Corvan, I am owned like I’ve never ever been before.” He is a tremendous support for her in every aspect of her life, including and selfishly most importantly for me, in her ownership of me. He not only approves of her owning me, he actively supports it. The Dominant side of her has blossomed as well and the joy in her life from both sides of the leash has been very, very good for her. She used to say “I’m not a switch, or a Domme, I own Corvan. Anyone can own Corvan…” Not so my Miss. Wednesdai couldn’t, Enigma couldn’t, deka couldn’t, others I could name that we both know never got the chance to try. You do.

As you accept your Master’s permanent collar tomorrow, I will be there for you. As always, as ever. You’re one of the most important parts of my life. My friend, my Miss. I’m incredibly happy and proud to know you, and to be Yours. I’m also incredibly happy and proud with how you’ve grown over the past year, and for the happiness you’ve found.

They say everyone has two families. There’s the one we’re born into and the one we choose. You can’t help the family you’re born into, it’s just random luck. The family you choose though, that’s where the real quality shines through. You’ve chosen an amazing family my Miss, and I’m honoured and humbled to have been chosen to be part of it. I’ll close with a picture I took at your Consideration Collaring. The family that was created that night has grown closer and stronger by the day since.

Related posts:

1. What does it mean to be owned by a switch?
2. On Punishment
3. Day 10: Life is sweet and an amazing quote
4. Missed another posting last night
5. Where is that line anyway?

2 Responses

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1. 

   Chrissy

   Awwwwwwww.
   *group hugs and passes around cookies as warm, soft, and sweet as Corvan is*

   March 2, 2010 at 07:16

Continuing the Discussion

1. A posting for my Miss – Corvans Creations… Musings on a Second Life | Portal site of Second Life and metaverse"MetaLog-meta log"

   [...] Through my trials and tribulations both in SecondLife and outside SL, she’s been there for me…. [...]

   March 2, 201003:10