Real time now. Just a short note.

A few minutes ago Tara gave me a choice. Take off the collar to release the kneel, or wait longer if I’m not comfortable taking that step. I surprised myself a little, I’ve left it on. I’m not ready to give up on Miss deka, and taking off or resetting the collar feels like giving up.

We discovered that I can change to yakar, though my head is locked down staring at the ground when I stand or walk. Re says it makes me look pouty, which is strangely appropriate. For now, I’m going to stick with where I am until either Miss deka returns, or another week goes by, or I get to a point where I can’t take it anymore. In that last case though, I’m going to check in with Tara before I do anything in hopes she can talk me down.

Related posts:

1. Wondering what has gone wrong, Part 8
2. Wondering what has gone wrong, Part 5
3. Wondering what has gone wrong, Part 6
4. Wondering what has gone wrong, Part 2
5. Wondering what has gone wrong, Part 3

2 Responses

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1. 

   Samie Ashdene

   Corvan, I’m gad you have Tara and Re there for you. You are going through a lot and I don’t think I could go through what you are now. I hope that all will turn out well. You deserve so much. I love you my Sweet One.
   -Samie

   August 16, 2009 at 20:56
   • 

     corvan

     Awww, thanks Samie. It means a lot.

     August 16, 2009 at 21:04