This evening I got home, took care of everything I needed and the settled in for a nice evening in SecondLife.

When I rezzed in at home, I found that Miss Wednesdai was online, but not at home. At that point, I was wondering where I should be? Should I stay at home until Miss calls me? Should I ask her where she was (with the implied “Can I come too?”)? Should I just jump over to StoneHaven and hang on the Patio until she calls me to her? What should I do?

It turned out to be a very simple question actually. I went with my gut. My gut was telling me that I should remain at home, sitting quietly in my cage until summoned. Miss knew that I was online, we were chatting in IM, she would call me to her when she wanted me near. Over the course of an hour or two, we chatted and I sat kneeling in my cage. Far and away, it was the right choice. Like Walter said yesterday, when I’m following my gut I’m being submissive, being who I want to be for Miss. Eventually she asked me where I was, noting that she had just arrived at StoneHaven. Only then did I ask her if she wanted me to join her. She told me to join her on the Patio which I did shortly thereafter.

Miss did a very nice job of restraining me at the Patio (I am such a bondage slut). We had fun. There were a few people on the Patio, some silliness, it was nice! Before she left, Wednesdai set timers on my shackles so I’d have some freedom after she left. When the timers went off it took me a few minutes to sort through how she’d leashed me … only to discover that there was no way to release the leash to my collar as it was locked without a timer. Stuck.

At that point, I had a choice. I could assume that Miss had deliberately left that leash to play a prank on me, or to tease me, or for any of a variety of reasons; the point being that she intended to not put it on a timer. The second assumption I could make was that she simply forgot.

I should mention that my collar is never unlocked. I think it’s configured to prohibit me from struggling out too. And to be clear, I do not want to remove my collar, or rather, Her collar. It is the tangible representation of my belonging to Miss Wednesdai and the thought of removing it is just too upsetting. On only two occasions has my collar been removed since Miss placed it on my neck. Both were related to fixing my Teleport problem and both times I felt really uncomfortable.

If I went with my second assumption then I would then need to decide whether or not to remind Miss that she’d forgotten the leash. If I went with the first assumption then I would know that I was where Miss wanted me to be, that she wanted me to wait there for her, and to simply enjoy myself. So tell me, gentle reader, which sounds more submissive? Let me answer that this way: I didn’t think it through, I didn’t analyse it the way I am here, I didn’t even consciously consult my gut. I just knew that Miss wanted me here, in a safe friendly place, and cared for me. That’s a much better feeling than all the second-guessing I’d been doing the day before. I felt warm, secure, safe, cared for, loved even. All the feelings that I’ve been having from the moment we met, and that had faded a little during the struggling I wrote of earlier, returned full strength (and more) in a rush. What a rush!

To complete the tale, Miss logged in shortly after I did this morning and retrieved me from the platform. Based on a small comment she made, I believe now that she had expected the collar leash to release when the others did. So it turns out that my second assumption actually was correct. You know what though? It doesn’t matter a tiny little bit. She locked me the way she did because it pleased her to do so. Whether that worked out precisely the way She had intended is irrelevant, which is the key piece I was missing before. She is taking care of me, I am being the best sub I know how to be, we’re having fun together, I think things are going wonderfully.

It was one week from when she placed her collar on me last night. Half way through what was going to be a two week trial. Don’t ever take my collar off please Miss.

Endnote: This morning when she brought me down from the platform she re-chained me to the Patio wall. She’s so good to me. She put timers on again but I think may have left the collar off timer again Not complaining, I gave her a gentle hint without implying anything either way. Simply said that when I get back in this evening I’ll either be on the Patio, or when the timers release (and if the collar is on a timer) I’ll meet her at home.

I love that her collar is locked on effectively permanently. I’m not sure I want to give that up (not the collar, just that it’s always locked by Her). If that means I spend time stuck every now and again, then it’s a sacrifice I gladly make. Maybe I am starting to learn what it is to be a submissive… and loving it.

Related posts:

1. It's amazing how much thinking you can do when locked alone in a cage…
2. The good times…
3. Now I'm in for it…
4. Some reflection, some thoughts, some insights, some conclusions
5. Being submissive isn't always easy